Mistranslation
by Flipspring
Summary: It is important to keep in mind that when a human says, "I hate you," it is most certainly not a come-on. The only thing more horrific than human apathy is human hatred. They do, after all, have two words for friendship. Or so we thought.


**Summary**: _It is important to keep in mind that when a human says, "I hate you," it is most certainly not a come-on. __The only thing more horrific than human apathy is human hatred. They do, after all, have two words for friendship. Or so we thought._  
**Includes**: _Xenoculture clash, Linguistics, Examination of the nuances in troll and human hatred._  
**Note**: _This will make the most sense if you imagine it told from the perspective of a troll in the Intergalactic Alternian Conquering Fleet, making observations about a recently scouted planet Earth._

_I own nothing of Homestuck, and am not making money from this._

* * *

The only thing more horrific than human apathy is human hatred. They do, after all, have two words for friendship.

Or so we thought.

At first it's a quaint observation, a piece of linguistic trivia, that every one of Planet Earth's inelegant languages all define two relationships as being wholly separate.

"Friend."

and "Enemy."

At first the we didn't pick up on the implications, we made the the most grievous xenocultural mistake of of our conquering history. Some theorize that the humans' misleading appearances could be blamed for our error. Shockingly similar physical structures to a troll (though never larger than the typical eight-sweep-old), pathetic lack of sharp edges, in teeth and claws and horns and minds (no psychic skills to speak of, imagine!). We assumed that they were merely softer, feebler versions of our own. But the more the we learned, the more monstrous they became.

When we found they considered only a single notion of romance, incredulity was our initial reaction. How could such a species survive without the mediators, how could they endure the poetic challenges of darker romance and entangled relations? The answer was, they had none. Weak, we thought. Pathetic, we thought. A single, lonely romance the accepted norm between two reproductively distinct genders, a curious alien romance based around nothing that directly resembled pity nor hate. Love, they called it. And it meant everything. If they would fight and kill for nothing else, they would fight and kill for this thing they called love.

Fine, we thought. So their reproduction and societal structure is built around a bizarre sort of single-minded commitment to the well being of others of their species. It seemed odd, but there was nothing implicitly wrong with it either.

We also identified a strong culture of warring. Social constructs and organizations that named each other enemies, fought tooth and nail over everything. Squabbles over resources and petty religious beliefs.

Because they have hate, humans. Or so we thought.

Our worst mistake was in assuming that troll and human hatred are the same. Another was our error in believing that "Friend" and "Enemy" were mere distinctions between pity and hate relationships.

Be warned, and do not make this error.

The worst thing for a troll to suffer is apathy. An utter lack of interest, in hate or pity, from other trolls. It means death, in most cases. A terribly difficult and self-sustaining existence, in others. Trolls are social creatures. Without our romances and acquaintances, our society would wither, we would have never come as far as we have. Culling is a result of apathy and pragmatism, snipping away the weak that so that the rest may be strong. Disposing of those who have no worth, who are not hated or pitied enough to be bothered with. Our planetary conquests are similarly driven by businesslike drive to further our race and to perhaps have a little amusement in the meantime.

With humans, however...

The only thing worse than their apathy is their hatred.

Mild dislike or hate in a human looks very much like apathy. But when it crosses a certain threshold, the one where in our culture would mean something special, human hatred takes on an altogether different hue.

For them, hatred is not a foundation for a blossoming relationship. For them, hatred is not a driving force in competition and achievement and rebirth. For them, hatred means only one thing. The opposite of love. The neurochemical concoction that rears of from its slumber when love is threatened. The terrible counter to the undying commitment to life and joy. The very harbinger of destruction.

When a human hates, they have no interest in friendship. When a human hates, there is only one thing on their mind. To bring as much cruel pain, as much awful punishment, as much perfect death and destruction as they can possibly achieve. They pursue this devastation of their enemies with the same fervent passion and care that they pledge for their loves. They will eagerly throw their lives away for the cause of hate, so long as due extermination is achieved. Human hatred is a single-minded lust for desecration. Some believe that there are humans that appear to wax caliginous, but they are fools. When a human hates, it mean to destroy. They may engage in preliminary dueling and torture for their own perverse satisfaction, but rest assured, they will not be satisfied until the dance is finished with a killing blow. Their legal systems are haphazardly constructed to mitigate the effects of their hateful psyches, with mixed success rates. They have murdered one another by the billions in the name of this horrific hatred, and might have gone on to destroy billions more, before we came along.

Soft creatures, they seem. Teeth as flat as an herbivore's, senses blunt and reflexes slow. Machines crude and cold and lifeless, fabricated of dead material and feelingless waste. Tools of war that shoot indiscriminate death, honed by an whole course of evolution to bring only death in the face of hate.

They might seem soft and weak and amiable, coddled and pitiful and blundering. Curiously pained by the pains of their kin, guilted and ruffled by the slightest of contrived offenses.

But be warned, for they call us their enemy.

And their voices scream with hate.


End file.
